Movie Review: The Black Phone

This movie takes place in 1978 in Colorado. That means we see bell-bottoms and striped shirts, Ford Pintos and Chevy Camaros parked on streets, and when kids are at Little League, we hear Edgar Winter’s great song Free Ride. Under normal circumstances, this is all a great start for a film. Not for me, though. For years my beef has been filmmakers relying on needle drops on screen that bring a lot of attention (I blame Quinten Tarantino). That doesn’t mean they don’t do a great job by using Sweet’s Fox on the Run or Pink Floyd…but Free Ride has been used in many films, including Dazed and Confused, which this film feels a bit like. So right off the bat (no pun intended), I’m watching a Little League game and checking out. The kid that hits the winning home run rides his banana seat bike home, with the mailman waving, girls giggling and saying his name as he passes, like he’s Tony Manero walking into a nightclub in Saturday Night Fever (and as great as that movie is, that scene bugged me there, too).

As he pedals home, a black van pulls up and the boy is abducted by a serial killer called “The Grabber.” He’s played by Ethan Hawke and I love that he took this role. He’s one of the more underrated actors working today (his performance in Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead was the best I saw in 2007). And Hawke will do such different projects, that he gave us a sweet documentary (Seymour: An Introduction) about a piano teacher. Hawke is exactly the type of talent I want in Hollywood, and I like the idea of him wanting to play this type of villain. Perhaps because I’m such a fan, I had this high expectation that he was going to bring to this serial killer what Anthony Hopkins brought to Hannibal Lecter. Yet, even with the snarky things Hawke says and the evil things he’s doing, you never understand the motivation of the character. He’s abducting these boys in town, but doesn’t molest them; yet we assume he desires to, the way we see him looking at one, or touching his hair. He doesn’t kill them immediately, so…you’re just left confused by what he’s all about. He does abduct kids with a technique Buffalo Bill used at the start of Silence of the Lambs, and with the magician’s outfit and black balloons, it reminds you of Stephen King’s It (and more recently Doctor Sleep). Here’s a fun fact: the short story this was based on was written by Joe Hill, the son of Stephen King (real name: Joseph Hillstrom King).

Now, back to the story. The young Finney Shaw (Mason Thames) is being bullied at school by a trio of kids. One confrontation in a bathroom reminded me of a bullying scene in the first movie I saw Matt Dillon in – The Bodyguard (seek it out). He’s saved by a tougher Mexican kid that we see beating up a much bigger bully who uses a racial slur early in the film. It’s usually enjoyable to watch a bully get his comeuppance, except this gets so bloody, it saps the enjoyment out of it. In fact, there are so many sadistic characters, it ruins things. Another scene involves Finney’s alcoholic father (Jeremy Davies) who beats his sister so badly with a belt, you’re just cringing the whole time listening to young Gwen (Madeleine McGraw) crying and screaming. Her beating comes from dreams that often come true, and help the police during their investigations. A few critics have mentioned not liking the fact that she has some sort of telekinesis/clairvoyant powers, and the fact that the black phone in the basement where Finney is kept, receives phone calls from the ghosts of the dead victims (hey, at least they didn’t call collect, am I right, folks?). But I feel if you’re making a horror movie with these elements, that’s fine. I’ll just go with the flow of what’s presented to me. I’m much more bothered by the fact that I’m not understanding the motivations of characters, and there’s just not as much tension as there should be. I think back to how I felt with the boy (Jacob Tremblay) in Room, as he’s listening to his mom (Brie Larson) being abused by their abductor in the same room. There’s even an escape that reminded me of that movie. Although that scene in this did work the way it should have. 

The performances are all good. There are a few good jump scares, and one scene that was surprisingly effective. Finney tries to make an escape and it doesn’t work. He falls to the floor crying, and it feels just like something a scared 12-year-old boy would do; but these types of movies just aren’t my cup of tea. They have to really be great to work for me. I end up sitting there and thinking of better movies. For example, when the kid tries digging under one of the floor tiles, I said to my friend I brought to the screening, “He’s going all ‘Shawshank Redemption’ here.” 

Imagine my surprise when she said, “I’ve never seen that.” She might be the only person that hasn’t, but I digress.

There’s some comic relief from a drugged out local who’s investigating the crimes on his own time.

There’s a bit of fun as the police want to use the little girl and her dreams to help them (which again, reminded me of a much better movie – Stephen King’s The Dead Zone). Sometimes she helps them, sometimes she’s cursing them out.

The kid also has a NASA rocket, flashlight/pen toy that’s rather sharp. He even slashed the Grabber’s arm during the abduction. I was curious as to why he was allowed to keep it. Surely the Grabber would take anything from the boy that could possibly help him escape, or hurt him later when he approaches for nefarious reasons. 

Writer/director Scott Derrickson (and co-writer C. Robert Cargill), did the films Doctor Strange, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, and Sinister (also starring Ethan Hawke). And to circle back to how I started this, with songs used from that era, how in the world did they not use ELO’s 1976 hit “Telephone Line” or the telephone song that came out the same year this takes place in 1978 – Blondie’s “Hanging on the Telephone.”

The friend I brought with me loves horror movies, and she liked this. So did the audience I saw it with. I felt it was like two different movies in one. Neither of which were all that strong. 

1 ½ stars out of 5.


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