Ghosting: Breaking Up, Without Actually Breaking Up

posted by LaDona Harvey - 

So, as I become a swinging single, and contemplate dipping a toe into the dating world, I am becoming aware of a new "trend."

Apparently, we have become so unskilled in the art of face-to-face communication, we can no longer manage to summon up the most basic human connection. Or dis-connection, as it were. 

Yes, breaking up is a bummer. And it is hard to do, thank you Neil Sedaka.

It's called, "Ghosting," and it's hideous. 

And yes, I ALSO think it is a cop-out to tell someone, "It's not you, it's me." Anyone who has ever heard that trope knows...it's them. 

 Dating is difficult enough, we need to be kinder to each other, even if it isn't a match. And, let's face it, most of the time, it isn't. 

Think of all the people you meet in your daily life. Do you feel an instant connection with all of them? Most of them? ANY of them? Likely not. So why do we expect that from the people we date? 

So, back to, "Ghosting." This is the way people are breaking-up these days. They disappear into radio silence. No return call, no text, no smoke-signal to indicate their sudden disinterest.  

I have not yet been ghosted, but I think it is safe to assume that once I dive back in to the dating pool, it will happen. I can tell you this, I won't be the perpetrator. I have more respect for people. 

I will squirm. I will not want to tell someone I don't have a connection with them. But I will do it, because it is the right way to do it. 

I hope any gentlemen I happen to go out with will afford me the same courtesy. 

Have you been Ghosted? Was it awful? How did you deal with it? 


Photo Credit: Wikicommons, Cara Mujer by       

Cesar Tort 

LaDona Harvey

LaDona Harvey

La Dona Harvey is co-host of San Diego's Morning News on News Radio KOGO AM 600. Read more

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