Back when I was married, and even before we married, I told James not to bother with Valentines Day. I wasn't kidding. I'm not interested in a heart shaped box, unless I am doing 80, and it is coming out of my Bose speakers at 11.
James didn't believe me.
He should have. Valentines does not equal romance...to me. But I appear to be the only one.
Hindsight being 20/20, I now know that HE needed me to feel strongly about Valentines Day. I think that he believed that my blah attitude about the day equated a blah attitude about our marriage.
In truth, nothing could have been further from the truth. I loved him, and I didn't think that he should feel pressure to make me feel special for one day. He made me feel special every day, so I didn't see the point.
My mistake was in assuming he knew that. He didn't, and my lack of romance on VD, and lack of romance in general, gave him the idea that I didn't love him. A lot of assumptions and a fair amount of stupidity later, and we are no longer married.
Oddly, Now that I am single, I have decided that Valentines day does matter. If only for whomever I may be dating at some future point. I am going to learn how to be more romantic. I am pretty sure it can be done. I am a smart girl.
I think men need romance...at least as much as women. I think men enjoy buying pretty things for the woman they love. Whether a single daisy or a vat full of diamonds, doesn't matter.
I believe men need to feel as though their partner expects an expression of their regard. I think it goes to how highly men believe she values herself, as much as them. It's a messy dance, this love thing, right?
I made a lot of mistakes in my marriage, but they were mistakes of ignorance, not of malice. Not needing romance was a HUGE mistake, and I won't repeat it. Now, if I can just figure out HOW to become romantic...I may need a little help here. Mr. Legend?
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