San Diego's Morning News with Ted and LaDona

San Diego's Morning News with Ted and LaDona

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At The Movies With Josh: Bad Boys: Ride or Die

Bad Boys was one of the best movies…of 1983. It gave us Sean Penn and Clancy Brown in early roles, and the underrated Esai Morales. About 12 years later, a movie of the same name with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence came out (using the name from the theme song of “Cops”). It had a few laughs, but was disappointing. Their second movie 10 years later made my “worst of the year” list. The third movie, four years ago (Bad Boys For Life), made my “worst of the year” list. This installment will also make my “worst of the year” list.

Belgian directors Adil & Bilall really dropped the ball here, making an unfunny comedy with loads of cliches, unlikeable characters, and unbelievable scenarios. 

This idiotic story has Miami cops Mike Lowry (Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Lawrence) trying to clear the name of their late Captain Conrad, played by Joe Pantoliano, in what is easily the worst film he’s ever done. [see Pantoliano in these brilliant films: Midnight Run, Memento, Risky Business, The Matrix, Bound, The Fugitive, and La Bamba]

The shooting and fight scenes felt like a bad video game. The Miami skylines looked like a bad music video. The score was annoying. Every frame of the movie felt like it needed editing while it tried to bombard us with action and noise.

This installment has added the premise of Mike having panic attacks, and Marcus having a heart attack (and spending the rest of the movie thinking he couldn’t die and craving junk food). At least that gave us one of the only three funny scenes in the movie – a shoot-out in which jellybeans are flying in the air, so Marcus sticks his tongue out trying to catch a few.

There’s a story thrown in about a prisoner/son of Mike (Jacob Scipio), who could clear the name of Conrad. That means the bad guys will try to kill him in prison, or put a bounty on him once he’s out.

The shaky cam was annoying, and so were the poorly done computer effects. The set pieces were stupid (when they end up in Florida and there are alligators lurking about…any guesses on what will happen there?).

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room – this being the first Will Smith movie since the Oscar slap. Well, he gets slapped a few times in this. That’s a cheap way to get a laugh, especially when Smith never had to face many ramifications for what he did.

The over-the-top, hammy performance by Lawrence got annoying quickly. Yet he’s the only one that provided a couple of laughs (one joke involving windshield wiper fluid being flammable was good).

Tiffany Haddish, who is usually reliable for a few laughs, has a stupid scene in a strip club where she won’t help Mike unless he pleases her sexually (if the idea of that sounds funny, this movie is for you).

This movie gets 0 stars.

Side note: I forgot that Joe Pantoliano did the Eddie Murphy movie “The Adventures of Pluto Nash.” So this is only the second worst film he’s ever been in.

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